Today I was reading in Nehemiah 13. He had to do some reforming there where the people have fallen short of what they were taught. They new better but did not do better. We have all been there. I found myself in Gods presence reminding me of my short comings. My failings. I felt like he was reminding me that I needed to fully get engulfed in his word. I admit I have fallen short, Pretending everything is good, everything is as it should be. But its shallow. A shallow relationship is not an important relationship and I had made my relationship with God shallow. I pray. I say I love Him. I call on him but I have failed to truly wrap myself in his presence.
The last few years have been a struggle. As with many of us, life can push us away from God instead of toward him. This morning he gave me a visual of how my relationship with him is.
Im standing on the ocean shore. The waves are coming in and I allow them to bathe my feet. I bend and splash some water, getting sprinkled from the burst of the waves. He shows me this is how my relationship with him is. A whole ocean to bath fully in, to become drenched in his love and I am standing on the shore. Yes its peaceful, safe...but my soul feels sad. There is a longing I don't understand. It makes me feel like my heart will burst. I close my eyes and take a deep breath...God is calling me, wants me to jump in..let the waves bathe me fully.
We can continue to live each day as if we have a deep relationship with God and satisfied with the waves bathing our feet, or we can jump in. Allow the waves to take us deeper in his love. So many times I have been here. Realizing my relationship is wavering. Im so so thankful God offers grace. Like the ocean waves, we can count on him to break the shore without fail.
Create in me a clean heart O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Psalm 51:10